I was reading an article today that suggested a certain yoga pose, the tree, I believe it was, for women. This is supposed to teach focus, the ability to concentrate on one thing at a time--to clear the mind of miscellaneous thoughts. It struck home with me, given my usual mile-a-minute brain activity. I can hardly write a sentence without pausing multiple times as other thoughts criss-cross what I'm trying to say. I'm not even sure if these sentences I'm writing progress logically. In my brain they do, but there's no way I can type as fast as I think. So what I write is merely a summary of the main points that go through my brain on any given topic.
If I was able to focus my brain on one thing at a time, I can only imagine the things I would accomplish. I could write those short stories and novels floating around inside. I could say my prayers at night without getting completely sidetracked and apologizing to God multiple times for forgetting that I was still praying. I could listen to what other are saying and actually comprehend it, rather than having to ask them to repeat themselves. I could fall asleep at night without lying awake for forty-five minutes first.
I have never seriously tried yoga. (1) I'm completely not flexible. The sit-and-reach Presidential challenge in gym class killed me every year. (2) I've just never had the time and/or opportunity. There are, however, a few things I've found that focus my brain, if only for short periods.
I've found that rote repetition works for me. The thing is, I have to really focus on what I'm saying, or I'm completely capable of (and likely to) continue with the repetition but have separate mental conversations and thoughts simultaneously. Saying the rosary is one example of this. It works well (and tends to allow me to fall asleep), as long as I focus. Otherwise the beads will continue to pass under my fingers, and suddenly I'll realize that I'm two decades down the string with no clue how I got there.
Reading also focuses my thoughts on one thing. Again, I have to focus, and it has to be interesting to me, or I'll continue reading, reach the bottom of the page, and realize I have no idea what I just read. Reading also helps put me to sleep. (Particularly reading for school.) The disadvantage to reading is that in some ways it is completely escapist. Not that I have a problem with a little escapism now and then. I quite enjoy it. But when I want to focus on a certain thought, idea, problem, etc., reading just doesn't do the job.
And then we have writing. Ah yes, the sweet balm of life. Okay, not really. Writing doesn't actually work for me all the time. I have to be in the mood. I have to care about what I'm writing. I can't be under pressure to write. It takes me a while to get into the writing "groove," we'll call it. At first my thoughts swim around like a thousand little fish in my mind's eye, and there's no controlling them. Eventually, though, they start to align themselves into schools, and I can follow one, more or less, and see it through to the end. It's still difficult for me to focus in on individual fishes, but at least it's a start. Once my line of thought is interrupted, however, that's it. It's very difficult to find my place again. The slightest ripple upsets the status quo, and the fish go scattering again.
I can think of only a handful of times when I have been able to keep my mind in the groove for an extended period of time. That is what I strive for, though. And it's part of the reason I've started this blog. The best way to improve something, whether it be a physical action or mental faculty, is to exercise it. And so, here I am writing. I've managed to stay on track for about fifteen minutes now. I can feel it starting to slip away. (And I'm out of things to say.)
May your fish align in all you strive to do.
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