Why I'm Not Ready for Marriage

This post is inspired by the five or six friends of mine who have gotten hitched this summer. I'm very happy for all of them, however it has made me acutely aware of how much the thought of marriage at this point in my life is completely alien and disconcerting.

He's actually kind of creepy...

Reason 1: I don't have a man.

Duh. I suppose if I was desperately in love with someone, and they completed me and made me whole and I couldn't imagine life without them things would be different. As it is, this is not the case. In fact, that whole concept strikes me as odd, because I feel quite whole as I am, thank you very much. Even if I did have a man, though, I would not necessarily be ready for marriage. It's probably best that I'm not committed to anyone at the moment. It takes away any pressure that might possibly be there from the guy himself, parents, grandparents, etc. (Not that I think my family would pressure me, just the assumption that this might be THE ONE would be enough to make me reconsider doing things that I might otherwise just go ahead with.)

Reason 2: I may just jet off to England someday soon.

Especially if Sarah Palin even comes close to inhabiting the White House again. But seriously, I want the ability travel and do whatever I want right now. I've been dealing with a traveler's bug like no other the last few weeks, probably exacerbated by living in middle-of-nowhere-PA for so long. Don't get me wrong, I love this place in its own way, but I'm not ready to settle down here for the long haul. I want to get out and explore a bit. (Mom - Don't worry, I'll at least wait until Michael comes home. :p)

Um, no.

Reason 3: I am only mildly domestic.

I told my mom today that she and Dad have probably spoiled my expectations for marriage. I come from a home in which men can and like to cook. My dad is a great cook, as are both of my brothers. It only struck me a couple weeks ago that not all homes are like this. Now, I don't consider myself overly feministic, but I also don't plan to revert to the 40s and 50s either. A man can and should help out around the house. Gender roles be damned. I don't buy into the idea that God created woman to serve man. Sorry, but no. Ours will be an equal-opportunity household. I.e. the Mr. will have plenty of opportunities to change diapers and wash dishes. Especially if I'm working outside the home as well, which seems to be more and more the norm these days.

Don't get me wrong, I like to cook and have no problem doing that. I even like to clean (in intense and random bursts of what I call binge-cleaning). Living with male roommates for a year taught me that I have a latent clean freak hidden in me somewhere.

And what if it turned out to be evil??

Reason 4: I want kids in my life, just not my own.

Someday I definitely want children. No question about it. I can already feel the biological clock beginning to whir and stir. BUT right now I'm content to hold them, play with them, then give them back after a couple hours. Children are fascinating and adorable and wonderful...and exhausting. I guess getting married doesn't necessarily mean the babies start coming immediately, but that's the next step; one I'm nowhere near ready to take.

Reason 5: I have a lot of ME to discover still.

This is probably the biggest factor in my marital immaturity. I have a lot to discover and find out about myself still. Lots of questions to ask, opinions to form, beliefs to iron out. College turned over a whole new leaf for me, and I'm still trying to figure out where exactly that's leading me. It seems rather risky to commit my life to someone, when I'm not even sure where I'm headed or how I'm going to go about getting there.


Alright, I think five reasons are enough for now. Besides, I keep getting distracted by a beautiful yellow butterfly flitting about under the clear blue sky of a summer afternoon. See I do love this place...sometimes.